I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Randomize