I'm laying in your front yard are you home
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
