Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
NoShamevember. You game?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Randomize
