i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
