I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
