shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
