Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
