So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
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