so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
