i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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