did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
