is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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