i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
