This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
