im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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