How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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