kristin has been a bad kristin
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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