she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
