Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
