just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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