I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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