Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
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She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Found the puke drawer
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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