goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
