Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
