When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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