No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
