Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
