Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
