I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
