Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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