Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
