she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Pooping to opera.
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