did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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