Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
