Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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