She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
