420 ftw
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Randomize
