You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My ATM looks so different sober.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
