I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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