I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
