I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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