shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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