Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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