I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
