i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
