So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
