her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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