Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
