I want to have your abortion
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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