Nicole vs. Life
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Even my vagina gasped.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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