Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize