also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
