I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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