She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
