the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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