remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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