hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
