Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
