he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
