The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
