Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
