I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
