She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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