the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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