i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
