yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
